Squidge

Yep, that was the thinking. The rest of it is quite close 3rd person, so it’s sort of cheating to know that she’s going to succeed this time. But, that presupposes something (on my part) about the rest of the book and the audience, I think.

That’s very true, Squidge. TBH, I’d say I’d re-write it about fifty times before I got anywhere and then probably end up with the first version in the end.
I think, given your focus, your approach is accurate. What I was trying to do was remove the certainty of her having succeeded on the 27th go.

Make time for day-dreaming. Fifteen minutes of doing nothing, except thinking about a particular scene, can help you visualise better.
Atmospheric music helps. As does wine. Or gin.
Okay, maybe not gin.

It’s great, Squidge! My personal taste would have been to start with:
“By Tilda’s twenty-sixth attempt to produce an illuminorb, Silviu’s patience…”
But I can’t say that would be better (in fact, it’s grammatically very awkward… so probably worse); it’s just how I would have done it. Otherwise, a cracking piece with a ton of world-building and…[Read more]

Nice one, well done Elle 🙂 Just off to have a read

Actually had a piece published today on Reflex Fiction if anybody wants to have a read, here’s the link:

https://www.reflexfiction.com/a-ghost-story-flash-fiction-by-laure-van-rensburg/

Just noticed that people may not realise that by “I” in the post above, I mean the “@denofwriters” twitter account, which I’m currently curating.
I don’t mean my own personal twitter account, which tends to be less polite and helpful.

Good idea, Mad. Can’t think of anything right now, but will rack my brains. Would be great to see others’ suggestions

I really liked this Squidge. Very immediate, straight into the action. Lovely voice. Thumbs up all around.

Lovely blog, Squidge. And your quilting is very impressive. What an amazing colour!

Under clothes, what was I thinking? It’s why you need a fresh pair of eyes, wood for the trees!

Thank you 🙂

Hi Elle,

I remember you talking about this story, and I really like it. A very clever twist on the oldest of tales.

I think you set things up well: we are expecting her to be the victim, but it shifts dramatically and she becomes the predator, turning the tables with her newly-discovered sexual power. Your writing, descriptions etc. as always,…[Read more]

Hi Sophia,

I enjoyed reading this and I like the way you get us into the MC’s head and show up how unhinged he is through his thoughts. I also like the subtle hint about OCD and the repeat of the four-pattern. I think you’ve suggested well that there is a lot more going about this MC that we don’t know yet.

One thing that stuck out for me in…[Read more]

Hi Elle,
Yes, I can see how that addition can work to show her trying and failing.
xx

Maybe just the one!;)