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I’m not sure you can, or should, avoid perfectionism. Yes, by all means, when you are scribbling down your first draft, avoid it certainly. But not when doing your major edit. (You said ‘revising’ so maybe you’re not editing yet.) But when you are, it’s the perfect word or phrase that you’re searching for and nothing less should satisfy.
Those writers you mention who ‘just say it’ probably got to what reads so simply now, after three or four re-writes!
But I think I know what you mean about ‘early perfectionism’; it can hold you up if you let it. I’m afraid I succumb to it, myself. I tend to edit as I go – write a page or so and then read it through, chopping and changing, if necessary. Then at the start of each writing session I read what I wrote during the previous session to get myself back into the flow, as it were. I’ll make further edits during this, if I spot anything that doesn’t sound just right. It does mean, when I come to do the final full edit, there’s not as much needs changing than there would have been. There’s still plenty, though 😉If it’s on Google it MUST be correct!!!
But it doesn’t really matter, if, within the context of what you write, it IS correct. As long as you “hang a lantern” as Harry Bingham of Jericho Writers, puts it, your readers will believe you. Go for it!Yes, but… Who would repeatedly ring a number that kept going to voicemail? Some might try twice but no more than that, surely.
And I suspect that perhaps the caller is no longer in a position to make repeat calls any more than the receiver is able to answer, but I’m just guessing.
I still think the simplest answer is to establish early on that this mobile is faulty and no-one will then question its continuous ringing.
It sounds a wonderful last line and conjures up all sorts of possible scenarios; I can understand why you want to be able to use it. I wonder whether you can, though.If, as Daed suggests, you can prove it works by testing turning off your own voicemail, fine, but I suspect phone companies have a system that will automatically disconnect a call that goes unanswered – to free up the bandwidth. (Landlines operators do this, too.)
Could you come up with an equally good last line that involved the call transferring to a voicemail that would never be answered?
Alternatively, you could simply establish earlier in the story that this particular mobile, exasperatingly, refused to go to voicemail – it just keeps on ringing and ringing; nobody can fix it. 🙂
At face value, John, to me it means the opposite. “Never regret not taking the adventurous decisions.”
The things you didn’t do? Maybe they were missed opportunities, but maybe not. Maybe they were best left alone. It’s all water under the bridge now, so there’s no point in spending time and effort on regretting what might have been.To mean “Don’t regret being adventurous” I think your line would have to read something like:
“Don’t ever let yourself regret thoee wild decisions made.”
You’d have to play around with that if you’ve got a rhyming scheme to maintain.Thanks again for all the advice, guys.
It’s clear I should stick with “A Lyttle Goes a Long Way”.But the subtitle:
The Improbable Tale of an Ulster Storyteller
The Improbable Life of an Ulster StorytellerThe Remarkable Tale… or Life…
The Extraordinary Tale… or Life…or some other type of Tale… or Life…?
Further thanks to Kate, Kaz and John. It seems I really ought to stick with my working title. So how about:
A LYTTLE GOES A LONG WAY
The extraordinary life of an Ulster StorytellerOr is it better without a subtitle?
Thanks, Squidge. No, I do like the original title (You should see the length of the list of “Lyttle” puns I rejected before choosing this one! There’s already a completely unrelated book out there called “Lyttle by Lyttle”, my first thought.) I just wondered if I could grasp readers attention without using his name. Maybe I’m worrying needlessly. This is why I ran it past you guys.
Thank you all for your advice.OK, so I could still go with “A Lyttle goes a long way”. I agree it’s a nice pun, although any pun could put some people off, I suppose. I was hoping to avoid using his name in the title as though it is his name, alone, that makes it worth buying the book – and if it doesn’t happen to ring a bell with you, why would you buy it?
Would this revised version of the alternative title resonate with anyone?
UNRELENTING LIMELIGHT
The Extraordinary Journey of an Ulster StorytellerThanks Gipps. THe working title is better, eh? Perhaps you three are right. But jaw-dropping is a strong word; thanks for that.
Thanks, Squidge, for your insightful comments. Interesting that the working title would catch your eye without even knowing about WG Lyttle. I agree the other bit wasn’t really a strapline – more part of the blurb, as you say.
Bella, I love the idea of ‘Hold the Front Page.’ Unfortunately it would be anachronistic; back then the front page was always nothing but adverts 🙁
The Improbably Life… would fit well – but maybe not strong enough?Thanks to you both for giving me food for thought.
Very interesting to read this, Daed. I’m looking forward to the next parts. Congrats on your honesty and willingness to share. It should be very helpful for all of us.
I haven’t entered a comp for a while though lack of time but this one intrigued me and my entry is short.
I suppose it’s a form of Writer’s Block – except that I can’t stop writing. Does that make sense? Probably not. Think of it as writing your way around the surface of a Klein bottle. Yes! That’s it exactly. Thank you. I know where I am now. I’m on the outside looking in. There is a lot to see in there. I keep writing. Describe what I see. Keep writing. What I feel. Keep… Oh! I’m on the inside. I am what I see. I am what I feel. And I’m looking out. Keep writing. What’s outside? It looks different from what I recall. Keep writing. Describe what used to be. Still is? What others feel. Outside. Keep writing. It’s as if… I am! I’m outside. Looking in. I suppose it’s a form of Writer’s Block – except that I can’t stop writing. Does that make sense? Probably not. Think of it as writing your way around the surface of a Klein bottle… …
You could have an industrial ‘dirty old town’ with back-to-back terraced housing where the kids still play in the streets, ancient pubs, pawn shops and run down motor repair lots and a ‘new’ posh housing estate with a children’s’ playground and the area by the canal nicely landscaped, built on the site of an old factory that went out of business. Maybe the locals don’t fully rust the incomers.
On the matter of the supposed redirect to the secure address. I opened the old address this morning as I hadn’t changed my favourites. Everything appeared as normal (except the address said not secure) until I tried to log in. It simply ignored my log in with no messages and no redirect. Fortunately I saw Daed’s reply to Hilary from last night and so I’ve now logged in successfully on the secure address. If anyone else has a problem the secure address is https://www.denofwriters.com
However when I tried to post this it wouldn’t let me, so I’ve tried to see if I can post it here.It does carry a trigger warning.
Readers are free to decide for themselves whether they wish to be offended. That is not my intention.OK, I’ll post the first entry.
Content warning; contains graphic description of a pregnancy termination
NEW BEGINNINGS – ONE IN A MILLION [370 words + title and warning]
[Warning, some may find parts of this distressing]I’m one in a million!
A million sperms fought to get to my egg first and my one won! I’ve been growing ever since. Cells doubling and re-doubling; quadrupling and re-quadrupling. I’ve got millions and millions and millions now, all my own. And they’ve grown into all sorts of funny shapes. On the outside I’ve got lips and a nose and eyelids and earlobes. And arms with fingers and fingernails. And a thumb! I managed to get the thumb into my mouth and I can suck it. It makes me feel good. When I’m not sucking my thumb I try kicking, ‘cos I’ve got legs and feet, too. And you know what? Once, when I kicked I heard my mummy say, ‘Oh! I felt that,’ for things are growing inside me, too. I’ve been growing now for 23 weeks and I’ve started to hear stuff.
I hear my mummy crying and I feel sad. Then I hear her saying all sorts of things, but not to me. So after a while I give a little kick and she says, ‘Will you stop that!’ and so I decide to try not to do it so much. I suck my thumb instead. And feel mummy’s heartbeat going gallump, gallump, gallump, gallump. My heart goes patta, patta, patta, patta for each one of mummy’s gallumps. I like the rhythm, even if mummy’s not talking to me. We’re together. It’s warm and snug here. I can sleep.
Mummy was crying again, but she gone quiet now.
And still.
I think she’s lying down. I can feel something pulling at me. It’s like when I suck my thumb but someone’s sucking me. Not nice. Don’t! You’ll pull me off my nice soft bed. Please stop.
Mummy?
What’s that? It’s cold and hard. It’s cutting me. No, don’t! Stop, please! Mummy!
* * *
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Eh… a bit… yeuchy… tired… sad – a bit… relieved. Relieved it’s over.’
‘You’ll feel better soon.’
‘Yes.’
‘Just lie there and rest. Think about the future.’
‘I will. Am I really free again?
‘You are. He’s out of your life for good and now all traces of him are gone, too. It’s over.’
‘I’m free! A new beginning.’
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