Libby

You mean the coppery tang of blood as her scalpel slices through pale flesh?! Just kidding. I know what you mean, Laure, I need to work on the atmosphere.
I hope this exercise is helping others to get a grasp of what makes a story work – join in everyone.

It was lovely to see you again at York, Janette. Bravo for your double-win ! Your story is emotionally rich and poignant without reaching pathos or simplicity. Beautifully done, and a well-deserved victory (victories).

Kaz, this is so exciting – not one bit of good news, but TWO: new agent AND Penguin’s interest! Yes yes yes yes yes!!! Going with the agent you felt the most comfortable with seems the way to go.

I’m so happy for you!

Hi Kaz. I am just so excited and thrilled for you. Am going rund he house with a stupid grin on my face.

Hey, Kaz – fantastic. And really well-deserved!

This is brilliant news. Congratulations.

Huge congratulations.

This is absolutely wonderful Kaz, and I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more. To find someone like that who ‘gets’ your writing and you click with, and the double endorsement of the PRH editor as well! Absolutely delighted with this, and can’t wait to read the book

Fantastic, Janette. Delighted for you. What a lot of power you’ve packed into a few words. Cracking bit of writing and a well deserved winner.

Any plans for the second-place piece?

Massive congratulations Janette. Looking forward to reading it!

Brilliant news Janette – definitely one for the Podium. And make sure you put a note there when the story’s published 🙂

Taking on board the comments so far, here’s an edited version, with a title change.

The First Time
Two men wearing overcoats followed the nurse down the corridor.
“Florence has quite perked up since you arranged this visit so she should be able to answer your questions. She’ll tire quickly, though, remember she’s over ninety.”
“Thank you, we’l…[Read more]

Ding ding ding – nope, still true! Brilliant news, Janette. Well done. And yes, it sounds very unusual.

Thanks Tony, good points, noted.
Thanks, Elle. I guess my spell checker doesn’t speak French! Good points. I think I have a tendency to over-explain or I would have ended it at “He was my first”. Need to trust the reader more. The telly paragraph is a bit of a cop out – I’ll need to rewrite it.

I can’t remember what the original prompt was, but I…[Read more]

@bellam – it was indeed recorded. Please excuse me for shouting, everyone, but MANDY WAS BLOODY BRILLIANT!