@gippsgirl
Active 6 years, 3 months agoForum Replies Created
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Posts
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Thanks @Raine, but I am YEARS away from submitting anything!
Gosh, Sandra, you posted your verdict at 4 am! I hope you’re catching up on sleep today. Thanks for an excellent comp theme, which elicited a host of cracking entries.
Congrats to Kate on a worthy win, and to John and Seagreen for their honourable mentions.
Fine with me, Sandra. Do you want to provide bank details for a transfer (by way of PM) or would you prefer a cheque?
Bringing a gun into a house changes it.
Atoms shift and reconfigure to make space
for this alien instrument
and what it might wreak.It’s not the way, she pleads.
Violence begets violence
and can’t be undone.Pushed back by forceful hands,
she quakes in the corner,
bible clutched to heart.He sits rigid, jaw clenched, hairs on end,
the weight of duty in his lap,
staring down the hall towards the door.The drip, drip, drip of the tap jars,
its rhythm disconcerting, out of sync
with that of the ticking clock.Ears prick: the purr of an engine, idling.
A soft step.
A mutter and shuffle.An unholy heaviness as the gun is raised.
Sweat dampens the stock.
Squinting eye follows the line of the trembling barrel.Door knob, dulled by time, turns.
Time slows to freeze-frame.
Wait … wait.The silhouette in the doorway
backlit by headlights
cries and falls as the bullet enters flesh.Die you bastard!
Got what was coming.
You’ll torment us no more.That birthmark on the hand –
surely not? Surely not!
A guttural wail begins, builds and bounces off every surface.Beloved son
home unexpectedly.Atoms shift and reconfigure to make space.
[Words: 192]
Congrats, Sandra! A great accomplishment to get it in print after eight long years. Friends who know I write can’t understand why I’m still at it after five. I, too, would love a signed copy, and assume you reap more of the profit (!) if purchased direct rather than via Blurb? Could do a bank transfer.
And a catch-up is definitely due! x
I interpret this directly as: don’t ever put yourself in the position where you might regret the things you didn’t do,
which leads me indirectly to: don’t hold back from doing the things you could have done because you’re likely to regret it later.The word adventure didn’t spring to mind when I read your post (though I get what you mean). Holding back from the things you could have done could be interpreted as just about anything, but it depends on context. Examples: you could have sent a letter; you could have taken a job; you could have helped a person in need. Or, it could be something more adventurous as: you could have taken that road trip; could have asked that person out on a date. In all instances, having taken the plunge, where might things have led had you said yes?
Your lines:
Go now, go now, don’t hesitate, your only master’s you,
Don’t ever let yourself regret the things you didn’t do
have great clarity. Fab!What fantastic news! Congratulations, Kaz, and I read that you met your agent at a successful speed-dating pitch-event. That’s a great reminder to make sure we writers are best prepared for such meetings.
I didn’t know of the Wheeler Centre. It looks like an amazing resource, and next time I’m home in Melbourne I’ll try to get along to an event there.
“A Lyttle Goes a Long Way”
The Improbable Life of an Ulster Storyteller
gets my vote.Improbable tale feeds into the stereotype of Irish blarney. That title tells the reader before they’ve turned the cover that what follows is not to be believed, so why bother buying the book?
Improbable life suggests a life fully lived, a life of intrigue and fascination that promises to surprise and delight the reader, and therefore one that is worth investing time and money on.
Words such as ‘remarkable’ and ‘extraordinary’ are cliche and undermine the very quality you’re trying to promote.
PS. And credit to Bella for suggesting the word ‘improbable’ in the first instance.
I, too, think a subtitle (strapline?) works, though I’m rather partial to Kaz’s suggestion of ‘improbable’ which suggests an especially rollicking good story from an Ulster Storyteller.
Hi Tony,
For me, Unrelenting Limelight doesn’t appeal. The word ‘unrelenting’ suggests something burdensome and turgid, and it’s not a pleasant counter to ‘limelight.’
‘A Lyttle goes a long way’ is much more upbeat and inviting.
GG
Hi Tony,
Like Squidge and Bella, I prefer ‘A Lyttle Goes a Long Way’ because it’s a clever play on words and makes one wonder on the nature of ‘a long way.’
One phrase that sprang to mind was ‘jaw-dropping tales.’ Adjectives such as amazing / astonishing / astounding / incredible tend to be done to death and wouldn’t capture my attention.
Hope that’s more food for thought.
On the How to get an Agent thread, page 3. In any event, here is the course:
https://www.faberacademy.co.uk/creative-writing-courses/who-do-you-think-they-are-character-creative-writing-course-gic2.htmlThe course is horrendously expensive, and the course info is a little misleading in that the tutoring is only in the morning. Nevertheless, I, and everyone else on the course was blown away. Lots of theory and exercises to enhance learning.
Wowed by your generosity, Philippa! I’m sure you do/will get a lot out of it too. In case you missed my post on another thread, I recently completed a stunning course at Faber called ‘Who do you think they are?’ which was led by a psychotherapist. It was fascinating and very useful.
Daeds, as many of us are still finding their way around the Den, is it worth re-posting this? And, perhaps, giving a longer deadline? It’s a fantastic concept.
Congratulations Janette! What wonderful validation. Your ability to infuse deep emotion in such a short piece is impressive. 🙂
Never understood the filtering aspect of making friends, Jules, so thanks for that. The friends function never seemed to make any difference on the Cloud (that I could detect) but making friends here over recent weeks has felt more about reunion hugs and so-happy-and-relieved-to-see-you-again. 🙂
Love your talents Squidge, especially the striped rainbow-coloured quilt! I’m a huge fan of textiles and have often thought it would be fun to make a quilt using free-from sewing, but never got round to making a start. And yes, so very heartening that Cloudies have a new home. x
Just tried to log in to the Cloud and there is naught but a blank screen. Looks not so much like the lights went out but the Cloud has dissipated into the ether. Farewell old friend. 🙁
And thanks for rescuing me, Athers – just in the knick of time.
Totally agree, Philippa, that continually learning the craft of writing is essential. If I think about the *!@* that emerged on the page of my first attempt at writing a novel, I shudder. I found Writers’ Workshop, signed up to some courses, learnt from the talents of other Cloudies, and did the Self-edit course. I continue to learn, and have just finished Faber Academy’s ‘Who do you think they are?’ Horrendously expensive, but amazing and it will give a depth to my characters that I would not otherwise have known how to achieve. Thanks for the link to the StoryGrid podcasts, which look very interesting.
